what is home...
a little less than a year ago, right after i moved back into the dorms with my best friends from school i had to keep coming back to zanesville to finish up work with my internship and see the people that i had grown so close to over the summer. i remember remarking to my suitemate, just as i was lugging my bags to my car that i was tired of feeling as if i were caught between two places.
as if my home was on the road...
and throughout the year, it was the same thing over and over again...
i would talk to my closest friends at school, knowing that they were here for me, and i for them. and that they were my family away from my family.
i would talk with the people that i had grown so close to over the summer and i would know that they were a part of me and i was a part of them. without their involvement in my life i wouldn't be the same.
i would talk with my friends from church, knowing that we shared many experiences throughout the summer and knowing that i had been influential in their life, as they had been in mine.
i would talk with my family, and i would know that they were my family. no matter what happened, they were there for me, and i was there for them.
and so i was stuck on the road between beds.
caught between telephone conversations..
running between meetings and life chats and hippie dances...
but where was my home...?
i just watched one of the many commercials for the new Narnia film coming out, and it struck me that maybe this feeling of being out of place was the one thing i held in common with the Pevensie children. after they experience this amazing place full of adventure, mystery, and love, where they finally feel as if they fit in and there really is a special, significant part for them to play - to have that torn from them... i can't imagine what it would feel like.
and then again, maybe i can.
but then, to feel as if i had been torn away from someplace, doesn't that imply that i would have felt as if i belonged somewhere first? that to feel "out" of place, i must know what it feels to be "in" place?
or is this just one of those "higher calling" things? one of those things that no one can really define, but talk about all the time regardless?
i don't know.
i just want to go home...
